The Battel of Wetherby.
A True Account.

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The Parliament Armie marched out from the campsite on a great trek until they reached a battlefield of their choosing. The Armie spread out into their battle lines and watched the Royalist Armie march onto the field, the Royalist Armie looked impressive but the God fearing men of Manchester’s Regiment on their 25th anniversary knew no fear, God was on their side, as was the just cause, plus it helped having a block 24 strong!

The valiant Parliament Armie on the right flank defied the roaring cannons placed on the hill and advanced on their enemie, the Royalists, feigning bravado, marched forward to meet them and engaged in battle. The Earle of Manchester’s musket block, ably led by Lieutenant Price and assisted by Sergeant France, backed up by Grey’s and divers other musket, deployed before the pike blocks on the left flank and fired shotte into the advancing Royalists. After a few well aimed volleys of shotte, the musket reformed into their respective blocks and the pike advanced into the fray.

The Earl of Newcastle’s pike faced the mighty Manchester block, numbers appeared even so it was going to depend on which block showed the grit and determination to win the fight.
The pike blocks joined, pikes rattling together, before withdrawing and readying for a push. The mighty Manchester’s Pike block, pride of the Northern Association, prepared themselves for action. The Goodly Captain Price guided his block into action, Sergeant Findlay was at the right hand side whilst the devilishly handsome Acting Sergeant Jones patrolled the rear of the block. With a mighty crash the two blocks collided, some of the new recruits squealed, some roared, some smiled…this would sort the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff….the sensible from the raving loonies.

The battle raged on, wave upon wave of the red coated Manchester’s crashed against the white coated Newcastle’s like the waves of a mighty ocean crashing onto the white sands of a beach. The gallant front row of Manchester’s pike spat blood onto the ranks of Newcastle’s as the battle swung one way then the other. The Parliament block was struggling with the unfamiliar four wide formation and were struggling to press home the advantage and the battle was starting to look like a stalemate.

The glorious musket of Manchester’s were firing shotte so furiously that their barrels glowed red, hand to hand combat ensued as the desperate Royalist musket rushed the gallant Manchester men. One of the Manchester’s brave musketeers was brutally clubbed down by a musket butt and some members of the pike rushed to his aid, we feared the worst but this musketeer is a rough n tough veteran and despite an appalling head injury, near split in two, the hardy musketeer lived to fight another day….the next day in fact.
As the battle drew nearer its inevitable conclusion, Newcastle’s regiment worked their way around to the corner of the field for their last stand, Manchester’s were ordered to march away and form up out of harms way, a blessing in disguise as it meant they didn’t have to watch the embarrassment of Newcastle’s last stand. After standing and taking volley after volley from the Parliament Army the few remaining Newcastle’s were charged by the Parliament Horse and finally finished off.
The following day the Armies met again, the gale force winds and the sudden hailstorm never put off the warriors from meeting on the field of battle once again. There was less waiting around this time and the march seemed less tiring. The mighty Manchester’s pike block wasn’t quite so mighty on this day as it had been whittled down to 18 members. Fortunately for them it meant they were back to their familiar three wide formation. The battle followed the same starting format with the exception of Manchester’s fighting Lisle’s at the start, the musket were harassed by their musket and pike at various times, Manchester’s pike had several pushes against Lisle’s and gave them an easy time of it due to their inferior number and quality. After failing to be totally humiliated by the puny Lisle’s block, Manchester’s block turned their attention back to yesterday’s adversary, Newcastle’s. Hutchinson’s pike were also paying Newcastle’s close attention and were unwilling to share the prey with the Northern Association elite block that is Manchester’s, but eventually they shared the glory and the two blocks took turns to break the ranks and file of the Newcastle block.

Manchester’s glorious pike took the Royalist opponents to pieces time after time, the lean mean, red and green machine showed that it isn’t always superior numbers that win pushes. As Manchester’s tumbled over again, the ridiculously handsome acting Sergeant Jones reminded his men that it is ok to fall over as long as they are falling forward onto the toppled Newcastle block. This they did several times, all one push needed was a one handed shove from the aforementioned acting Sergeant Jones at the back to send Newcastles toppling over again. Admittedly it helped having Hutchinson’s block tiring the Royalist block every other push, but it will never be admitted to Hutchinson’s Regiment obviously, Manchester’s will claim the victory in this battle as is our right , history says so.

So to the end of the battle once more as Newcastle’s once again take their leave to go and commit suicide in the corner of the field. This time Northern Association were allowed to watch their demise, which went on and on and on. Lisle’s were also making a last stand and making it last an eternity. The wrecking machine that is Manchester’s were ordered to go in and finish of Lisle’s because the Horse were making the last stand last way to long. After charging around the watching Army and preparing to rush the remaining Lisle’s, an officer shouted at Manchester’s to stand as Pike aren’t involved in this part of the show, the marauding Manchester’s proved why they should have been by performing a terrifying charge at the last few Lisle’s and despatched them swiftly enabling the Cavalry to finally finish off the brave Newcastle white coats. The sight of the triumphant cavalry carrying off The Earle of Newcastle’s colours was a stirring sight and it signified the end of another battle and another victory for the Mighty Manchester’s Regiment of Foote. Others may claim their share in the glory but only those modest heroes in green and red can hand on heart exclaim they could have easily done it alone instead.

Another glorious daye for The Earle of Manchester Hys Regiment of Foote.

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